Emotions are an interesting thing. We spend our entire lives attempting to control and manipulate them into coinciding with the invisible instruction manual that dictates how one should feel in a given situation.
Our feelings are capricious and we feel something before we are even able to recognise what it is. We as humans attempt to defy this by analysing a specific situation, determining the appropriate emotion and then feeling it. We often experience a sense of guilt when we feel a certain way that may be deemed as unsuitable for a certain circumstance. Sometimes we may feel things that other people will call irrational. But is any emotion irrational? Is there a right way to feel?
We are human and as Hannah Horvath once said, ‘I feel how I feel when I feel it.’ We are allowed to have unconventional reactions to things and there is nothing to say that we must control them. Experiencing these emotions are what makes us alive, these senses that run through our veins build our existences. We do not need to be devoid of emotion.
If somebody breaks your heart and then has their own heart broken a few months later, it is perfectly normal to feel a small ounce of joy upon hearing this. It does not in any way make you selfish or callous. Knowing that somebody that has inflicted pain on you, is now learning their own lesson, is one of the best feelings. There is nothing wrong with taking pleasure from this situation. If you break up with somebody and then try to fill that emptiness with another person, this desire for compassion is what makes us human. Not crying at a funeral does not make you insensitive, sometimes loss makes us numb. Everything that you feel is valid.
I wrote a post about the English language not being able to accurately identify and describe certain emotions which you can read here. There are things we feel that we cannot even verbalise, and because there are no words to describe them, it becomes difficult for us to identify them. How are we able to try and control something that we cannot even identify?
Our feelings are not irrational, and just as we have individual differences, we each feel differently in situations. There cannot be an instruction manual to ordain our sentiments; we are not the puppets of our own society. You feel the way you feel and it’s an inherent quality that you cannot change. There is space between feelings and actions, and feelings are absolutely harmless.
Revel in your emotions, preserve them, share them, lose yourself in them.
Our emotions live inside of us, and they are the fibres of our being.